


Remember When?

by GenesisDarling



Series: When it rains... [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Angst and Romance, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, College AU, Dysfunctional Family, Fluff and Smut, Gay John Laurens, Gay Thomas Jefferson, I'm Bad At Tagging, Light Angst, M/M, Modern AU, Romantic Soulmates, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:02:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22483024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenesisDarling/pseuds/GenesisDarling
Summary: Thomas fondly recalls the beginning of his relationship.
Relationships: Thomas Jefferson/John Laurens
Series: When it rains... [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1629901
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	1. T.J.

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is relatively short and relatively clean, future chapters probably won't be either of those things! :-)

“How did I get so fucking lucky?” Thomas wonders aloud in a cheerful, singsong voice as he walks through the front foor and flutters through their New York City apartment. He stops for a beat in their kitchen to light up a joint, leans against the countertop and gazes into the living room. He grins as he notices John napping on the goldenrod toned chaise, his curls haphazardly falling over the side of the backrest. Thomas assumes John fell asleep waiting for his muse to inspire a new painting, but that’s not uncommon. “Is he ever not sleeping?” He asks nobody in particular, despite the man being the most dedicated hard worker Thomas could remember ever meeting. His heart felt as if it was ready to burst, when his boyfriend made the tiniest noise in his sleep, and with that he slinks into the bedroom to begin getting ready for their evening plans.

John’s phone lays on their neatly made bed. The couple isn’t in the habit of keeping secrets from each other, so Thomas picks it up. His plan being to click the unlock button and appreciate the wallpaper - a selfie they snapped at a music festival last summer. But to his confusion, the phone displays a lockscreen asking for a passcode. “Weird…” He says to himself. A number he doesn’t recognize had sent a text not long after he got home from work, but somehow the push notification is still waiting.

[6:23 PM: Was nice to meet u. Damn elevator needed some eye candy ha ha. Long ride up to the 30th floor. See u Monday?] 

He laughs to himself; John always has suitors. He’s a beautiful, talented man - of course this elevator person is interested. He isn’t worried at all, he trusts his boyfriend. 

Another text arrives. Thomas silently hopes it’s more juicy elevator gossip, but this time the notification is clearly labeled. It’s from John’s best friend, Hercules. A gentle giant of a man, someone he knew would always look out for his love. 

[7:04 PM: Well damn bruh, did you do it?] 

He rolls his eyes and tosses the phone back on the bed. Their drama could wait, Thomas has a romantic evening planned and he needs to prepare. As he pulls on his favorite velvet jacket, his mind wanders to his memories… 

**10 YEARS AGO**

Their first encounter was in Philosophy 101 - a course neither particularly enjoyed. As the professor drudged through lecture after lecture, John worked diligently - he wasn’t going to risk his education for anything. Thomas had no interest in philosophy, and instead focused on a beautiful man across the lecture hall, totally enraptured by the spray of freckles across his caramel face and the way his curls bounced as he looked between the professor and his notes. It was unlike Thomas to avoid shooting his shot with any pretty thing that caught his eye, but he had a hunch. ‘This one is different,’ he would often think to himself amid his romantic daydreams, absolutely bewildering his friends - none of who had ever seen him act this way. 

He was the usual college party guy, never one to turn down a good time; an intelligent man who lacked academic motivation. He came from old money, and wore wealth well - always dressed immaculately, albeit with a strange sense of style. He was fond of a certain shade of fuchsia, and typically adorned himself with fabrics most college men wouldn’t appreciate. Thomas had been genetically gifted with perfect brown skin, a muscular body, and eyes that could make anyone’s knees tremble. He hadn’t had to work a day in his life. Maybe that’s why his chances at earning the political science degree he’d been pushed toward were doomed from the start. He made the mistake of thinking he’d always have everything taken care of for him. Unfortunately for Thomas, he couldn’t have been more wrong. 

When the news of his dismissal from the university arrived in the mailbox of his parents’ estate, they were livid and he was blissfully ignorant. That letter came just before he was set to go home for a visit. The night he came home, his family went for dinner at their favorite upscale restaurant; his parents planning to break the news. Thomas suspected nothing, even as the host showed them to their table and their usual banter faded to uncomfortable, silent tension. 

“Thomas -” His father started, and let out a deep sigh. “As you know, we’ve been generously paying your tuition. All we asked was that you keep your goddamn act together.”

“What are you saying?” He said, scoffing nervously.

Granted he had hardly even bothered to monitor his academic performance, he wasn’t quite sure where his dad was going. He’d never been an ideal student, and had been in his fair share of trouble in teenage years, but he thought he was skating by well enough to keep his folks satisfied. 

“Don’t play stupid. You know what I fuc-,” Father began, and his voice was already growing louder. He was quickly interrupted by his wife, who had always been the softer parent. 

“Darling, you don’t need to shout.” She said, resting her hand on father’s forearm. “Let me.” Smiling sheepishly at her fuming husband, she turned to son. “Your grades, hon. Have you been doing okay at school?” 

Thomas raised an eyebrow, concern grew in him. He shrugged. “I mean, yeah, I’m fine.”

“You’re not distracted?”

“Distracted? By what? All I do is homework and chill with the guys, ma.” 

“Tommy, you’re…” She trailed off, her face sank and she spoke as firmly as she could manage. “Thomas. They’re kicking you out.” 

His dad made a gruff sound, and the waitress awkwardly sat their basket of bread down. She hurried away before she had to overhear anymore of their conversation. 

“What? WHY!” He hadn’t meant to raise his voice, but he couldn’t stop himself. It felt like the entire dining room was staring directly at him, and despite his typical love for attention, it made him want to pull his coat over his head and hide. But even still, his thoughts were consumed by one thing. He wouldn’t be seeing the guy from philosophy class anymore. 

His mother pulled the letter from her purse and passed it to him. His heart sank as he read it. She was right, it said he had to leave university. It said he’d only passed one class in his first semester, and because it was midterms in the second term and he was still doing very poorly, the school wouldn’t tolerate it. The prestigious university had a reputation to maintain, after all. He couldn’t have possibly cared less about his degree or this letter’s implications for his future. His mind raced with thoughts of the beautiful, freckled boy from class. Thomas didn’t even know the guy’s name. ‘What is his fucking name?!’ He thought to himself in a panic. 

“Don’t you have anything to say for yourself, son?” His father said in a low, angry voice. 

Without any response, Thomas stood up from their table and rushed out of the restaurant. Before he even knew what he was doing, he pulled out his iPhone and ordered an Uber for himself. He had to get back to campus; had to find him. 

“Shit. SHIT!” He yelled at himself while he waited for what felt like centuries.


	2. J.L.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John Laurens tries to make art, has a bad time, and then dreams about college.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this introduction to our co-star!
> 
> This one is a little longer. Be on the look out for an update soon. :-)

John’s mind only has room for a few things - his art, his career, and his boyfriend. He’d grown comfortable in the monotony of his routine - Wake up, go for a run, shower, work, art, and then whatever Thomas wanted to do. 

Today is one of the rare instances in which John has the apartment to himself. When his work day ended, he lazily made his way home and swiftly shed his clothes, placed everything into its appropriate place. Without thinking about it, he let his phone fall onto the bed - wouldn't need it for painting anyway and he just wants to forget about the week he's had and be alone with the easel. He sits in front of the blank canvas, and begins to make gentle strokes across its surface, gracefully painting the shape of his lover’s strong, masculine body. Almost as quickly as he gets lost in the art, he loses his focus and remembers that Thomas would giggle at him for this. He pouts and sets the brush into his rinse cup. 

Frustrated, he plops down on the chaise he’d begged Thomas to let him bring home from an antique market uptown. “Why am I like this?” He lets out with a forceful groan. It’s 5:30 in the afternoon, and he’s grateful Thomas hasn’t come home yet. A feeling of guilt washes over John in that moment as an unpleasant memory floods his mind.

The voice of an angry father rang in his ears. _What did you just say to me, John? Gay? Are you out of your mind?_ His father said when John tried to tell reveal his deepest secret. _Art therapy? Is that even a real job? What kind of man gets an art degree?_ His father said at his high school graduation party when he’d proudly announced his newly decided major. _There is no way you’re moving to New York! Your family need you here._ Henry said when John delightedly flaunted his acceptance letter to Columbia University. He’d spent his whole life dreaming of relocating to the big city - something he still does not regret doing, but his father was -is- hellbent on making him feel guilty for taking the plunge.

He was supposed to be spending this afternoon _dolling himself up_ as Thomas had said, so they could go out somewhere special. Instead, he’s spending it mulling over something his father said to him when he was 18. “I hate you, Henry. I really fucking do.” He says as he lets his body slide into the chaise and get comfortable. 

In a desperate bid to move his thoughts to anything else, he tried to recall the way he had met Thomas. To nobody’s surprise, he accidentally put himself to sleep.

**10 YEARS AGO**

In the second semester of his freshman year, John reluctantly registered for Philosophy 101, which was necessary to satisfy his humanities credit requirement. By the third session, he hated this course, yet still vowed to put in the same effort he would if he loved it. He was determined to graduate with the best possible scores in every single class - even if for no other reason than to spite his father. 

After arriving early one day, he watched as the lecture hall filled up. Merely moments before the lesson was set to begin, in walked a man so beautiful John swears his heart nearly stopped. It was not secret that he was definitely gay, but laying eyes on him solidified that fact in his mind. The handsome stranger was tall, brown, and breathtaking. His magenta tee-shirt fit just tight enough to perfectly accentuate his godlike arms and chest. John’s stomach tightened and he immediately averted his eyes. ‘You better not get caught staring, Laurens.’ He silently reprimanded himself as he began unpacking a messenger bag full of note taking supplies. He did everything in his power to ignore that man, although he was admittedly less successful that he’d hoped. 

John was an excellent student, never missed an assignment, always on time. His high school years were primarily spent trying to blend, but while his classmates snuck around to party, he snuck around to visit the craft shop. Henry would have been furious had he ever found the secret stash of paints and brushes, colored pencils and sketch books; but John needed something, anything that would give him an outlet. His father was a strict man; a devout Catholic, an esteemed lawyer, and mayor of their small town outside of Charleston. His mother was a kind woman with a gentle soul, who fell ill and passed away the summer before John began middle school. Being the eldest child of a very busy single father, John was pressured to be a role model and caregiver for the other kids. He was never able to figure himself the way adolescence is meant to allow, so he had no choice but to use his time at university for that. 

Spring break was approaching, which meant he’d be expected to go and visit his family, but he had no intention to do that. A few extra phone calls with the kids would have to suffice. His break plans included a small shopping spree at the local art shop, watching as many cheesy romance films as one could manage in 14 days, and pleading with his mind to forget the philosophy class guy. 

As soon as his final lecture was over on the day before break started, he made a beeline to the dorm room and practically kicked the door down, shouting “Is it too late to drop a damn class?” 

His roommate, Hercules sat backwards in his desk chair, rifling through his backpack. His large frame would have been intimidating if John didn’t know him so well. In his usual aloof tone, he replied “Dude, yes, we just had midterms!” 

John grumbled and threw himself face first onto his bed. “I can’t stop looking at him.” He said, knowing it’d be muffled by the excessive amount of pillows. 

Being a good friend, Herc knew that something was bothering John even though he had no idea what he’d just said. “It can’t be that bad.” 

But it was that bad! He could barely think about math for future teachers or introduction to psychology because he was too focused on a beautiful stranger. ‘I’m pathetic…’ He thought, and laid silent for several minutes before sat up and swung legs over the side of the raised bed. John groaned as loud as he could. 

Hercules let his bag fall to the floor and gave up on whatever he was searching for in there. He hesitated for a second, searching for a way to approach the situation. John’s feelings typically had to be pried out of him, and Herc knew he had to be both forceful and sensitive. “Okay, so maybe it’s bad. Are you failing? Talk to me.” 

“Oh God, no! Way worse than that.” He made a disgusted face at his friend’s implication. 

“Okay, so what? You don’t like your prof?” 

“Obviously not that either.” John shrugged. 

“Bruh you’re gonna have to tell me eventually.”

John picked up a pillow and screamed into it.

“Honestly John, how the fuck am I bout to help you fix this if you won’t even tell me what’s up?” Herc said, half serious, half laughing at John’s ridiculousness. 

“Fine. FINE.” John said, biting his lip nervously “There’s this guy.” 

“You are NOT about to tell me you finna drop a class for a damn guy.” Herc said sternly. 

There was silence again for a moment. He’d known John was gay as soon as they met on dorm hall move-in day. Takes one to know one, he remembered saying to his new roommate. Their friendship was immediate and easy. 

“No… but… he…” John shrugged. “He’s so hot.” 

Hercules rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Look, I gotta go catch a bus back home to see my moms but as soon as I get back, Imma find this dude and set you up, aight? Peace!” Hercules said, grinning ear to ear. John couldn’t even manage a rebuttal before Hercules playfully punched him his shoulder. He watched begrudgingly as his best friend slung a massive university-branded duffel bag over his shoulder and confidently marched out of their room. 

“Fuuuuuuck. What now, Vince? ” He said to the goldfish who lived in a tank on top of his dresser, named for Vincent van Gogh. “Just you and me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. T.J.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T. Jeff's still fondly recalling the memory of how he met John. He employs the help of his roommate to dig a little deeper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are finally starting to heat up! :-)
> 
> @Honey-Spiced on tumblr. Say hi!

**10 YEARS AGO**

Thomas paced in front of the restaurant, anxiously waiting for his ride. He watched the app as his Uber pulled into the valet area and parked. A text arrived. 

[7:43PM: Hey it’s your uber. am here] 

He didn’t bother to respond. Instead, steeled himself and climbed into the back of the four door sedan. The driver was a petite middle-aged blonde woman, named Kelly if he was to believe her Uber profile.

“You must be Thomas. To Columbia’s campus, yeah? You want a specific building?” She asks as he enters her car. “Beautiful school, you must be really happy to go there. You must be a freshman?” 

“Nah, just wherever is easy for you.” He mumbled, ignoring the rest of her questions. 

Kelly gushed about how she hoped her own daughter would be accepted to the university one day and how fortunate Thomas was for the opportunity. Her thick New York accent irritated him and he wasn’t particularly interested in discussing his circumstances. The relatively short ride felt hours long, but eventually he found himself walking through campus toward his dorm. 

The university was buzzing with students preparing for spring break. Thomas weaved through the crowds, eventually coming to the door to his building. His roommate, James, was supposed to be gone before the evening, so he expected to be home alone. This was not the case. As he approached the door to his room, he could hear the familiar bumping of James’ favorite rap group, and the giggles of several obviously tipsy girls. He groans as he pushes the door open. 

Although he’d typically be one to partake in boozy drinks and loud music, he had other things to attend to and these girls were only going to impede his progress. “Get out.” He said sternly, shooing them with his hands. “Go, now!” 

James, although disgruntled, was concerned so he didn’t argue. He showed his guests out and turned his focus to Thomas. “Yo, what the hell, bro? I was about to score.”

“I need you to help me find someone.” Thomas rolled his eyes and sat at his desk. He pulled out the drawer and poked around, looking for the rosters his professors passed out on the first day of the semester. 

“Um, creepy. Who?” 

“I don’t know his fuckin’ name. If I did, I wouldn’t be here right now.” His voice shook as he spoke. “He’s in my philosophy lecture.” 

“You know I’m in your philosophy lecture, right? We literally registered for it together. Are you high right now?” James said, amused.

“Oh… right.” Thomas ran his finger down the list of their classmates. “Well do you know who he is?” 

“You didn’t tell me a single detail, Tom. So… no.” He paused, giving Thomas a scrupulous look. “Did this guy piss you off or something? You need me to write him a strongly worded letter?” He teased.

“What? No. I have to meet him.” 

“O...kay. Why?” James asks.

“I’m being dismissed.” Thomas says with a grunt. “Like, from school.”

James tilted his head. He had no idea Thomas was struggling with his coursework, but he couldn’t how the classmate was relevant. “I’m confused. What does that have to do with this guy?” 

“Oh my fuck, Madison! Nothing. I just need to talk to him before I move out.” Thomas hisses. “He’s the one with all the curls. Always shows up in crop tops and joggers.” 

“Mhm. Yeah, I think that’s…” He paused to think. “Laurens? I don’t remember the first name. Shit.”

Thomas couldn’t muster a response; not even his usual sarcasm. His heart raced as he realized he was getting closer to the information he needed. 

“He knows Angie’s friend. Hercules, maybe?” He was referring to Angelica Schuyler, the teacher’s assistant in his calculus class. It was his favorite course, but with math being at the core of their major, she and James spent a considerable amount of time in shared spaces. They had become friends. James wouldn’t admit to his infatuation with her, but Thomas was nevertheless grateful that his roommate seemed to have connections everywhere. 

“There’s a John Laurens on this list. That has to be him. You think he lives on campus?” Thomas asked, hoping his roommate’s inexplicable knowledge of the student body would continue to provide answers. 

“Ah, I really don’t know. I can try to ask Angie but… Thomas, it’s spring break. Nobody’s here.” 

“You’re here.” Thomas laughed at his own quip. 

“Touché, asshole.” James pulled out his phone and began typing a text message. 

Thomas watched him intently, growing increasingly impatient as the pauses between her responses became longer and longer. He hated being powerless, especially in times like this.

James - [8:19PM: Hey, do you happen to know a student - John Laurens?]

Angelica - [8:21PM: Even if I did, it would be unprofessional as hell to tell you.]

James - [8:22PM: I know. Please?] 

Angelica - [8:26PM: I swear if you tell anyone I answered this, I'll have your head.] 

James - [8:26PM: Alright alright! Just tell me.] 

Angelica - [8:33PM: What do you want to know?] 

James - [8:34PM: Does he live on campus?]

Angelica - [8:41PM: Creep. Hold on let me check something.]

Angelica - [8:49PM: Fine. You're in luck. Eliza and John's roommate are chem lab partners.] 

James - [8:50PM: Okay, so does your sister know where they live?] 

Angelica - [9:01PM: You better not be about to murder someone.] 

James laughed lightly and waited for her to send more information. The next text contained an address which he immediately said aloud as he sent Angie a thank you. Thomas knew in an instant what he was going to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tune in next time to see what shenanigans Thomas gets into. Thanks for reading!


	4. J.L.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys finally meet!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: There is a very brief mention of assault and descriptions of anxiety/anxious thoughts in this chapter.

**10 YEARS AGO**

With Hercules gone and nothing else to do, John decided it was time to start on the movie marathon he’d promised himself. Under his dorm bed was a milk crate full of DVDs, including a large CD case full of discs that had been removed from their original cases - his ‘chick flick’ collection. When he still lived with his family, these particular films had their home in his younger sister’s room, where their father had no reason to suspect they belonged to John. However, to avoid the inevitable shaming Henry would lash at him if they were ever found, John hid them in this leather case when he began packing for university. Not even his roommate knew of their existence. 

After several minutes of internal debate, he decided on _How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days_ , and loaded into the shared DVD player. Despite being strict about healthy eating, he also decided to steal a small bounty of chips and candy from Herc’s section of their tiny kitchenette’s cabinet. 

“Score!” He shouted after he discovered a stash of brownies that were undoubtedly spiked.

John made a nest of blankets in his bed and bundled up with his contraband treats, pressed the play button and let the film begin. He hated to admit it, but he lived for the drama in these films. He laughed, and cried, and got angry at all the moments the writers intended. 

When the first film ended, he put on _The Notebook_ , knowing very well he’d be sobbing before it was even halfway through. Fortunately for John, as he attempted to get back into his nest, he realized the brownies finally had taken their toll. He was inebriated. Unfortunately, he didn’t get much time to enjoy it before his evening was interrupted. 

Just before 10 o’clock, there was a knock on their dorm room’s door. “Oh fuck.” He whispered under his breath as he threw his heap of blankets aside. 

“Uhhh, just a sec!” The shout barely left his lips before the second knock. He was sure his building’s resident assistant was here to question why he hadn’t left for break. He would see right through John and kick him out for having illicit substances on campus. His father would surely have his head when he had to move back into the family's house. He might as well give up entirely. _Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Oh fuck!_ His only thought repeated endlessly as he mentally kicked himself for eating the brownie. “Gotta…” An awkward pause hung heavy in the air. “Get some clothes!” 

John was a terrible liar. He paused his movie, and fumbled to the door. There was no way to tell who was there without asking. He took a deep breath in and through his anxiety, asked as calmly as he could. “Who are you?” 

The stranger’s voice said “A friend. I’m here to talk.” It sounded more like a question than a statement, but the voice definitely didn’t belong to the RA, which soothed some of John’s fear. 

He pulled open the door and said “Okay, well um-” But the words got caught in his throat when he realized who was standing there.

Philosophy lecture guy. He felt a knot form in his stomach. “What the hell?” He felt himself freeze and that was all he could muster.

Thomas smiled crookedly; he’d expected a warmer greeting. “Ah, sorry. Is this a bad time?” He said as he noticed John’s bloodshot eyes. Being no stranger to weed, he knew that not everyone can hold conversations when they’re high. 

“What are you doing here? How did you… how did you find me?” Startled and suspicious, John demanded answers; convinced that this guy had noticed his staring and was here to confront him. 

“I um. Well, I had some help. From a friend.” Thomas admitted, although he realized he probably sounded like a criminal. 

“I don’t know what you want, but you’re not gonna find it here!” John slammed the door and backed away from it. Hot tears flooded his eyes; terror filled his heart. He’d been assaulted for less and he wasn’t going to let himself be victim to that again. 

“Wait! I just wanna to talk to you.” Thomas called out. “Please, open the door.” 

“You could have asked for my number. Didn’t have to stalk me.” John’s voice cracked as he shouted back. 

“I don’t have a lot of time. I’m moving.” 

John made a few steps toward the door and lowered his volume. “So what does that have to do with me?” He practically whispered.

“Open the door, I’ll explain everything.” Thomas pleaded. 

John couldn’t decide what to do and his thoughts raced. _Should he trust this guy? Was it safe? Why couldn’t Herc just be here?_ He grabbed his phone from his desk and navigated to his sister’s contact information - he would call her if something went wrong. With the phone in his hand, he cracked the door. “Don’t try anything.” 

Through the small gap in the door frame, Thomas said. “I had to- ...You’re so fuckin’ beautiful. I had to talk to you before I lost the chance.” John felt every nerve in his body light up. 

_Did he just say that?_ Surely he’d misheard. He pulled the door open a bit more. “What did you just say?” He tried to sound as tough as possible. 

“I said I think you’re beautiful and I wanted to meet you before I can’t be on campus anymore.” He answered with a cheeky grin. Thomas became aware of their enormous height difference. He towered over John’s small frame. 

“You’re not here to hurt me?” John squeaked. 

“Hurt you? What?” Jefferson’s voice mellowed for a moment. “Why would I hurt you?” 

“I don’t know.” John shrugged and he felt embarrassed. He was as nervous as he could remember ever being. With flushed cheeks, he said. “I’m John. Hi.”

“Thomas. Uh, Thomas Jefferson. I’ve seen you in class.” 

“Yeah, um. Same.” He paused to brace himself for what he was about to say. “Did you wanna come in?” John moved his body aside to clear the doorway and gestured to indicate his invitation.

Thomas immediately complied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :-)


	5. T.J

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys' date is almost ready to happen. In their memory, they finally have their first real conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't wait to write about the date! Ahhhh 
> 
> (content note: The title 'Daddy' is used in this chapter, there is no explicit scene yet however).

As Thomas puts the finishing touches on his outfit for the evening, he can hear his love rustling awake in the other room. His velvet suit is a rich purple color, comfortable but stylish enough to blend in with the crowd at the five star venue they will be dining at this evening. The clock reads 7:17PM, and their dinner reservation isn’t until 8:45. This leaves him with just enough time to adorn John with the lavish clothing he purchased a few days ago. 

“Baby, would you come here?” He calls through the open bedroom door; the patter of John’s feet on the hardwood indicates he’s on his way. 

“Yeah, Daddy?” John’s lips curl into a flirty smile as he sits on their bed in front of Thomas. “What did you need?” 

Before he answers, Thomas turns his back to John and opens their walk-in closet. A designer store’s bag sits waiting, the printed tissue paper still conceals its contents. “I bought you something for tonight. Stand up so I can dress you.” Thomas says sternly. 

This outfit is a far cry from something John Laurens would ever have chosen for himself, but he’s eager to comply with Thomas’ commands. He stands so quickly curls bounce. “I can’t wait to see!”

From inside the bag, Thomas pulls out neatly folded lemon yellow pinstripe slacks and a matching jacket - a color he loves on John - followed by a white cashmere sweater. A button-up shirt would cover the delicate collar he requires his beloved to wear anytime they go out, so a sweater will have to do. 

Using two fingers, Thomas motions. “Come here.” He points directly in front of himself. “Undress.” He watches closely as John quickly sheds his clothing. 

When he’s done, John looks up at the much taller man in front of him and with big, puppy dog eyes shyly asks “What now, Daddy?” 

**10 YEARS AGO**

John’s room was nothing like Thomas expected. Granted, he knew nothing about the roommate, he had spent far too much time imagining their dorm. He expected it’d be meticulously clean and decorated conservatively because of John’s personality - quiet, studious. Little did he know, that was only the version of himself which Laurens presented to his professors. Behind closed doors, he was loud, funny, athletic, and a massive art nerd. 

Thomas marveled in the room’s contrasting vibes. Half of it was tidy, covered in indie band posters, perfectly coordinating red and orange bed clothes, collages of photos with friends, half finished paintings, and high school varsity sports memorabilia. The other half - the side he assumed belonged to one Hercules Mulligan - was plastered with punk band logos, stylishly mismatched comforter and pillows, a gay pride flag, dirty laundry, and explicit magazines. 

He decided to withhold his commentary, remembering his apartment’s permanent state of chaos. “Thanks for inviting me in. Sorry again that I scared you. Feel like a real fuckin’ dick.” He said with a laugh. 

“Oh uh, yeah no. We’re cool.” John found himself unable to form a complete thought. “You want a drink or like… yeah, a drink?”

Thomas shook his head. “I don’t need anything.” 

“You can sit if you want.” John offered, pointing to his desk which was covered in candy wrappers from his movie earlier - Thomas didn’t mind, he sat anyway.   
Laurens sat in Hercules’ desk chair, which was directly across the dorm from his own. He positioned the chair so it’d face Thomas, although he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. 

“So, um. Like I said, I gotta leave the university and I needed to meet you first.” Thomas began, and John did to appear calm as he listened. “My roommate has a friend who knew where you live?” 

“Who’s your roommate? The friend?” John choked out. 

“Oh right, James Madison is my roomie. His friend’s named Angelica. I don't really know her.” 

“I do. Well, Hercules does. She’s um.” He paused to laugh and his nerves eased a bit. “She’s a strong person.” 

Thomas simply nodded. “I guess this is probably real fuckin’ weird. But hopefully not too weird?” He said with a cocky grin. “You’re the most beautiful thing this campus got to offer.” 

A squeak left John’s mouth and he immediately cupped his hand over it. 

They talked for hours that night - about everything from their childhoods to their favorite films, their music they like to their career goals. As the evening went on, John grew so comfortable he stopped masking himself - he let Thomas see the real John Laurens. Thomas could almost physically feel the affection growing in his heart. 

Their conversation was eventually interrupted by John's stomach growling so loudly Thomas easily heard it. “Could I maybe take you out? You like sushi?” 

John nodded. “Love it.” 

"Nice. I know a late-night place. Let's go."


	6. J.L

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the present, the boys get ready for their big date. In their memory, the boys go for sushi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content note: There's a description of violence in this chapter. 
> 
> Please take care of yourself while you're reading. <3

John’s heart glows as Thomas dresses him in his new yellow suit. A small hum escapes his lips and Thomas recognizes the tune. “You watched Frozen again today?” He teased playfully. 

“For work! My client’s favorite. She always wants to play the soundtrack while we paint.” John works in art therapy; the client in question being a five year old girl. 

“Well it’s _my_ baby’s favorite, ain't it?” Thomas says as he rifles through the sock drawer to find a pair that will work with the suit. 

“One of ‘em.” John checks himself out in the mirror on the back of the closet door. He spins and starts to sing _Love Is An Open Door_ aloud.

Thomas finds the perfect pair of socks - yellow to match the stripes on the suit, and a pair of dressy brown shoes. “Put these on, baby boy. I’m going to get started on your hair.” 

A very chipper John immediately stops spinning and sits on the plush stool at his vanity. He would be ashamed to admit he has a vanity to anyone but Thomas, but save for his specially built painting desk, it’s his favorite piece of furniture. Mahogany wood accented with gold knobs and a large round mirror. He pulls the shoes on in no time at all, and Thomas begins tending to his curls.

“Daddy?” He whispers and Thomas immediately understands that he’s slipping into little space. “Do you remember when we had our first date?” 

“Of course I remember, silly boy. Sushi, yeah?” Thomas mused - tonight he is taking John for sushi once again. Ten years ago, they had their first date, and tonight they will be starting the rest of their lives together. Thomas is going to propose. 

“It was a good night, Daddy!” 

**10 YEARS AGO**

John, having been raised in the south by a very American man, had only discovered sushi recently. He was an instant fan, and even though he knew he enjoys the dish, being invited for dinner wrecked his nerves. What if he couldn’t pronounce the menu? What if he suddenly forgot everything he knew? He was going to make a fool of himself. Thomas seemed as calm as he could possibly be - John did not understand how he could be so confident. 

The two men strolled through several city blocks, Thomas leading John toward the cafe. It was spring in New York City; a crisp breeze blew gently through the unusually quiet evening. The moon hung low and bright, illuminating the freshly blooming trees. Without any words, Tom extended his hand and his palm brushed John’s - their fingers laced. Simultaneously, they each glanced at the other and Thomas smiled softly.

Occasionally a car drove past, and each time, John flinched in fear. South Carolina had not been especially inviting for the queer community, which instilled considerable anxiety in Laurens. There hadn’t been many men in his life, but he couldn’t help but remember a date which happened near the end of his senior year - a dreamy boy invited him for ice cream, he accepted the invitation, lied to his father about where he’d be, and went out hoping to find love. Instead, the date ended abruptly when a gaggle of football players crossed their path. The group hurled slurs at John and his date, while the largest player tackled the two smaller boys and punched each in the face a few times. Despite being the athletic type, John had very little in the way of strength, and his debate team captain date had even less, leaving them practically defenseless.They had done nothing to provoke the attack, and the onlookers did nothing to help. John never went on another date -- until this one.

A particularly loud car snapped John back to the present. He dropped Thomas’ hand and gasped loudly. He took a few steps away from his crush and pulled his hands into his hoodie’s pockets. “Fuck…” 

Thomas stopped walking and frowned. He had no idea where John’s mind had been a moment ago, but he had noticed the cars startling him, and it was clear he was in distress. “Whoa, what’s up?” 

John gulped and a look of shame washed over his face. He assumed Thomas was irritated that he’d let go of his hand. “It’s… nothing. I…” His eyes flooded. “I’m sorry, Thomas.” He barely managed to choke the words out. He could still hear the jocks shouting _“you’re disgusting, you fucking faggot!”_ and worse at him. His nose burned like it was broken all over again. “I’m sorry.” He said again through his sobs. 

Tom cautiously stepped toward him, making shushing noises as gently as he could manage. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Here,” He extends his arms for a hug. “C’mere.” 

It took nearly a full minute for John to accept the embrace. They stayed that way for longer than either could count. “Do you wanna talk about what that was?” Thomas asks.

John pulled away and said “No, not really.” as he continued to walk in the direction they’d been headed in before the incident. “Too hungry.”

**** 

The sushi cafe was exactly what John needed. Trendy and cool, but still small and lowly populated enough to be comfortable. Electronic music played just loudly enough to be enjoyed. Customers could place their orders via a tablet with which each table was equipped. The guys order a sampler tray with enough food to feed way more than two people, as well as a fruity bubble tea for John and a sake drink for Thomas. 

John was confused when Thomas ordered alcohol - given that they were both only freshman, he shouldn’t have been able to do that. Tom explained that he had taken a gap year, which then became six gap years, before he enrolled in university. He spent a while retelling the story of his journey across Europe and the lovers he’d kept. It wasn’t unheard of for a 24 year old man to be a freshman in college, but it was extremely unusual at an ivy league school. _The perks of having an influential family,_ he’d said to John. 

“Wow, wish my dad would have let me travel.” John said with a giggle as he popped the last steamed dumpling into his mouth. “Must have been amazing.”

“Well it would have been much better with you by my side.” Thomas said cooly. “You would love Italy. I’ll have to take you sometime.” John’s cheeks flushed a deep crimson. 

Long after their food was gone, the two were still talking. By this time, they must have already spent nearly six hours together, and knew each other better than most couples would several dates in. It was well after 1AM when a cafe employee came over to their table and they became very aware of how empty the restaurant was. 

“I’m very sorry, but we closed half an hour ago…” The server said to them politely. “I’ll need you to leave now.”

“Ah! I’m so so sorry!” John practically shouted as he jolted up from their table. 

Thomas reached for their bill and headed to the register. John happily followed, pleased to see he'd left a very generous tip. 

The walk back to his dorm was largely uneventful, but he spent the entire time on cloud nine, holding on Thomas’ hand, and wishing the evening would never end. When they got to his building, he sighed and looked up at Thomas with puppy dog eyes. “I guess this is goodbye?” 

“Don’t gotta be.” Thomas pulled John’s hand near his face and kissed it. He was secretly hoping to be invited inside, but wasn’t willing to push a boundary. 

John nervously bit his lip. “Well…” He stretched onto his tippy toes, planning to kiss Tom's cheek and before he could even realize what was happening, Thomas leaned into him and their lips crashed together, sending a shock through John’s entire body


	7. Hello! Sorry about the long break.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to stop by and ask something!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading. And follow my tumblr!

Hey!!

I've been considering writing more of this and I'm curious if anyone is interested? I want to delve into it, even if just one person is waiting!

Feel free to comment suggestions for me, or even just to leave some words of encouragement. uwu


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys finally do thing the thing~!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter is far more explicit than former ones, just a heads up! It's also the last one in this little arc - next time, we'll be starting off with the Big Important Date and onto...whatever comes after two people get engaged, I s'pose.
> 
> Sorry for the long break between chapters. I'm sure you're aware that the world's kind of intense right now, and I've been having trouble finding my muse. But I'm feeling a bit better now, and I'll hopefully be having at least one update each week from now on!

The New York City skyline is just starting to fall into twinkling nighttime, as the two make their way to Thomas’ royal purple Hummer, which stays safely stashed in their high rise apartment’s private parking garage, of course. They’re both dressed to impress in luxurious suits and buzzing with amorous energy. The doors lock beyond them automatically as they situate their bodies in the front seats and both men habitually place their hands on the center console between them, letting their fingers lace. John sighs contentedly as he realizes how perfectly his love’s hand fits in his own, and the two share a smiling glance as Thomas begins to drive. The radio is always set to play Thomas’ favorite station - one which plays exclusively rap and R&B from decades ago. They spend the ride uptown fondly recalling the conclusion of their first date: the first time they made love. 

**10 YEARS AGO**

That kiss was the most electrifying Thomas had ever felt. ‘Fucking knew this boy was different.’ He thought to himself, feeling victorious. The door to John’s dorm room was just behind them, and the kiss lasted far longer than it needed to, but they couldn’t let each other go. Three months of mutual longing had led to this moment, and both of them had an innate need to cling to it. 

When they finally pulled apart, Thomas left only a couple of inches between their faces. “You were sayin’?” His Virginian accent he typically fought to avoid laid thick on his voice; he was too drunk on adrenaline to stop it. 

John gulped, his heart raced, and he did everything he could to sound confident. “Did you want…” He drew in a deep breath. “... to come in?” The question did not have to linger long. 

“I do.” Jefferson said without breaking eye contact. 

And with that, John immediately was fumbling through his pockets to find his keycard. As soon as he successfully managed to open the door, he was swept up into the larger man’s arms and carried into his room. Tom kicked the door closed behind them, and without skipping a beat, proceeded directly to John’s bed. He laid his lover down, and climbed in beside him.

Eager for another taste, he didn’t waste time on words - instead, Thomas immediately placed himself over the other man, propping himself up with his muscular arms as he dove in for another smooch. He let his tongue slip into John’s mouth, which forced a moan out of him. It wasn’t long before the collision caused both men to become almost painfully aroused. 

John felt Thomas’ erection against his own, and started to feel nervous. He had never been to bed with anyone, but especially not with someone he wanted so desperately. Tom must have felt the shift in his energy, because he pulled away and tried to read his face. The only light in the room was coming from the aquarium, which allowed for only partial illumination and left a lot open to Thomas’ imagination. “Are you okay?” He asked John as softly as he could manage. 

There was a small pause before Laurens spoke. “I am… it’s just.” A frown formed and he looked away from Thomas. “It’s just that I’ve never done this.” 

Tom chuckled a bit. “What, hook up on the first date?” 

“Hook up.” He admitted reluctantly. 

Thomas let himself lay down next to his date, and pulled him into an affectionate cuddle. They laid face to face, inches apart. “Like, at all?” 

John squirmed, the zipper of his jeans felt uncomfortable against his cock. “I -” He couldn’t manage any more words. 

“It’s okay if you’re a virgin, John. I don’t mind.” 

John sighed, his hot breath tantalizing on Thomas’ cheeks. “It’s embarrassing!” This time the words came out far too loud for John’s comfort and he buried his crimson cheeks in the larger man’s chest. 

“Hey, hey… it don’t have to be. We can move at your pace. Whatever you’re comfortable with is cool with me.” Tom’s words were warm and comforting, but somehow made John feel small and almost stupid. 

_‘I shoulda done this already.’_ Laurens thought to himself, humiliated about being a nineteen year old virgin. _‘Thomas shouldn’t have to be doing this for me’_ , he convinced himself. 

Without saying anything further, Tom used his palm to gently lift John’s chin, bringing their faces together again, and planted a delicate kiss on his cheek. “I’m not gonna hurt you.” It sounded like a promise, making John’s nerves relax a tiny bit. They found themselves kissing again in that moment, and this time John was determined not to stop. 

Laurens pushed Thomas gently, and Tom knew to lay on his back without being told. The smaller man climbed aboard. He pulled off his own tee shirt and then bent back down to plant some kisses on Thomas’ neck. 

“Mm… that’s nice.” Tom said, gripping John’s hips, and both of them knew what was about to happen. 

“Don’t... wanna... wait... anymore,” Laurens said, each word punctuated by a kiss. 

“Then we won’t.” Thomas retorted with a snarky tone, grabbing John’s ass before he shoved him back onto the bed. The previous rush of confidence John previously managed immediately vanished, leaving him a flustered mess as he felt his legs being spread apart and Tom positioning himself on his knees between them. 

John watched intently as his newfound partner shed the top layers of his clothing - a black tee-shirt with a band logo he couldn’t quite make out under a magenta blazer, which under different circumstances, he’d probably find ridiculous. But right now, all he could think about was the spectacular abs that had just been revealed to him, and the hip bones that peaked out from the waistband of Thomas’ low-rise jeans. 

Soon after, Thomas began to work John out of his jeans and was met with no protest. Laurens’ red boxers were hastily tossed aside as well, leaving Thomas’ jeans as the only thing standing between the two men and their pleasure. “You’re sure you want to do this?” John asked him. 

“I’ve never been more sure in my life,” Thomas said with a chuckle as he unfastened his own belt and let his jeans fall to the floor with John’s. “Are you?” 

A lazy mhmmm was all that came out of Laurens; he was too busy staring at the erection Thomas had been hiding all this time. _How the fuck is it **that big**?_ He thought. 

Although he’d been embarrassed at the time, John was now grateful that months ago, Hercules had stashed some condoms in the nightstand beside both his own bed and in the one next to John’s. “Just in case!” Herc had told him, and John rolled his eyes, doubting that he’d ever need them. But at this moment, it was necessary, so he rolled over for a moment and reached into the top drawer to grab one. “Here ya go,” he whispered shyly as he got back into his previous position. 

The condom was equipped in no time at all, and Thomas nestled himself between John’s legs once again. This time, on his knees, face first in front of John’s now-nude body. He artfully took John’s cock into his mouth, wanting to give his lover the full experience for his first time. 

Beyond that, John was too enthralled in the moment to recall exactly how everything else went. It was the most sensational experience he’d ever had, and certainly one he’ll be remembering fondly for the rest of his life. If only he’d known the man on top of him would someday become his husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Follow me on tumblr @honey-spiced  
> Comments and kudos will make my day! 
> 
> Also, I believe this is our final flashback. After this, we'll be in the present tense with our little lovebirds. <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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